Wobble

In my manifestations I saw someone who was part of the Christian world I was raised in talking about how when it comes time to move a mountain we shouldn’t be surprised when God gives us a shovel.

In the long list of ridiculous things I hear these preachers say that contradicts the source material entirely this one rubbed a nerve because I realized one more piece of religious conditioning has convinced me to thank the universe for a shovel.

I’m not anti-shovel to be clear and yes I’m thankful for every resource I am given but their own book says that their founder told them to only speak to that mountain and it would be cast into the sea.

And here they are talking about how that same spirit would give them a shovel and say “You sure as hell better be thankful. Some folks don’t even have shovels.”

So I went down this path of more things I need to remove that are in the way of what my sense of self worth says I can have or achieve in life.

That shovel is going to take lifetimes and never move that mountain because it’s not enough given the time we have.

So should we be thankful for dynamite? A bulldozer? A crew?

Or do we truly believe we can accept that something’s don’t have to be so hard or take so long?

Now I’m past the shovel and all that meager thinking to some greater extent and I would say that now the mountain wobbles.

Just enough proof it can be moved.

And yet it hasn’t moved.

But it’s wobbling.

Proof is enough to fan some more flames of belief.

Years ago in one of these healing session things we would do, I was so held in wonder as I was in this lucid kind of vision where everyone I knew and everyone I didn’t know was flying overhead. They had all realized this incredible potential they had inside of them and I was so amazed and happy and excited because they had all finally realized they could fly.

Then my friend said to me:

“Now I want you ask spirit a question…“

“spirit…” he said so I could repeat the words,

“Tell me why I think I can’t fly.”

And those words hit me.

Because I had marveled and dreamed and believed in literally every last person on earth before considering myself.

And I have seen my manifestations work for other people and marveled as I pushed ship after ship away from the shore and waved as they sailed off into the dreams they had always wanted and celebrated it all alongside them while forgetting that I am also holding potential and should also be among those I want to manifest for.

So now we wobble baby.

What’s next?

I don’t know…

I do know that last night was like “yeah I can manifest a bunch if stuff but I have no idea how to manifest that”

And then in the middle of the day today someone in Hollywood reached back out to me and said “I want to help. Here is my personal number.”

I still don’t know what that means or if anything will come of it, or if he can even help, but yesterday I had no idea what the next step was and today I am preparing for this call.

And these manifestations keep coming, and while the thing hasn’t moved across the finish line something is certainly still moving just enough to say “this ridiculous amount of things that all somehow have to work together for everything to work can actually happen somehow someway.”

And so maybe today we just wobble

And then tomorrow maybe we stand in that wide open space where a mountain once stood in our way…and breathe out all the weight we have been carrying for so long.